So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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