His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
sarcasm needs its own font
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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