Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize