I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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