addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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