And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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