Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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