So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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