Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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