What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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