I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
