I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
