he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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