It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
