pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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