you're like a bully in the Christmas story
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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