My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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