there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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