so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
