so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I smell like Dick and happiness
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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