The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
