i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
