I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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