fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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