Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Randomize
