***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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