her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
