Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
FUCK WHALES
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize