It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
