Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
