There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
In America we eat man semen.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
