do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
