I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
