he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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