her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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