so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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