Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
