she was so not down for the gang bang
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
