What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
