Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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