She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
they need to just BURY HIM!
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
