You smell like a Billy Joel song
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He better not be in your backpack
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
