By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
