Taylor Swift is so right about you.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
