Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
