marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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