so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
