TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
i think im in europe. pls send help
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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