Me too!
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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