i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
