You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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