I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
