just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Randomize
