i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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