Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
