Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
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