jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Is Oprah even human
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
