is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
