My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
