Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
