We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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