Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Did I show you my penis last night?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
