so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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